


I remember

by PhantasticPhailure



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Please Don't Hate Me, Sad, Sad Ending, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 21:04:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11974977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantasticPhailure/pseuds/PhantasticPhailure
Summary: This is my first fic so sorry if it sucks ^-^





	I remember

I don’t remember much after that day, but the day itself always stayed clear in my mind. It was too loud that day, too hot but I didn’t care, I was content, the happiest I had ever been, and I would stay that way for as long as his hand was in mine. 

I remember waking up that morning to the smell of burning pancakes and rushing downstairs into the kitchen just to have him usher me out and sit me down at the dining table, claiming it was ‘a special I love you surprise’. I remember seeing the glimmer in his amber eyes and his beautiful smile, dimples and all, splitting his face in half, so I sat till he came out with plates full of food and kissed me on the top of the head.

I remember watching him hunched over his laptop browsing through Tumblr and how every now and then his face would light up and he would let out that hyena laugh of his that I absolutely adored. The one where he would throw his head back and the corners of his eyes would crinkle. I remember how every time this happened he would instinctively turn his laptop around so I could see too so that he could see me laugh. I remember that that day we sat for hours giggling like raving lunatics over everything and nothing.  
I remember calling for him form the lounge, telling him how we were going to be late and I remember him bursting into the room with one shoe on and the other in his hand, his brown locks straightened into a 2005 emo fringe. He was wearing his signature all black that day, head to toe. I remember him grabbing my hand as we walked out of the house ten minutes late, making me irritated but then he kissed me and I couldn’t find it in me to care about the time.

I remember shuffling out of the club at 2am hands still tightly interlocked. I remember how he was still muttering under his breath about how his new shirt had been ruined, soaked through with some fruity cocktail when a drunk girl had tried to flirt with him, completely ignoring me sitting by his side with our thighs pushed together, but she had instead just spilled her drink all over him making me feel rather smug. I remember resting my head on his shoulder and him sighing a sigh of content, silencing his incessant mumbling. I remember his smell, like the scented candles that covered our bookshelves and the musk of his soap and like home, our home.

Finally, I remember being pulled into an ally by a big man with a gun. I remember him yelling at us for our wallets. I remember tears streaming down my face and him standing close, whispering words of comfort as he pulled out his wallet and handed it over to the man in the balaclava with the gun still pointed directly at us. I remember being shoved to the damp dirt and being yelled at to hand over my wallet. I remember freezing with fear and him rushing to my side, fumbling to remove my wallet from my back pocket. I remember a sharp pain in my stomach as I was kicked by a large boot and him yelling. I remember the sickening crunch of fist hitting skin as he hit the man with the gun. Then bang. 

It was all I could hear, ringing in my ears. The man with the gun was running and my home, my whole life had been shot. I remember crawling to his side, tears blurring my vision, and pleading to whatever higher power that I was mistaken, that he was safe, maybe that I had fallen asleep and we were still at home on the couch in our pyjamas, cuddling, him with an arm thrown over my waist and me with my hand resting in his mop of brown curls but it wasn’t answered. Instead I remember being met with my baby lying in the dirt whimpering as blood began to seep through to the ground below. 

I screamed as loud as I possibly could, pressing my hands to the wound trying to slow the blood flow. I remember thinking it couldn’t be real this couldn’t be real but it was. He whimpered my name, almost too softly for me to catch it. 

“I love you, I don’t want to leave. I am finally happy, I don’t want to go,” he whispered. 

“No, you aren’t going to leave. You are going to stay, you have to stay, please. We will build our forever home with floor to ceiling windows and little boxes of flower in the yard and we will get two dogs, a Shibu Innu and a Corgi and we will get a little white fence and we will be together forever and – and…” I remember stuttering out through my tears, that’s when I heard it, he had begun to sing. His eyes were closed and his breaths were shallow but he was singing. He was still there with me.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear how much I love you, but please don’t take my sunshine –,“ he sung, slowly getting quieter like he was falling asleep until he was silent. His eyes were closed and his breathing had stopped.

“No, no!” I cried starting to do chest compressions, “Don’t leave me. You can’t leave me. You are everything. Please. It wasn’t meant to be like this. You were meant to stay. I was meant to propose next week baby, please.” 

I remember he didn’t answer me or wake up dramatically as he would have in a movie. He couldn’t be gone. I wouldn’t let him be gone. Everything was slipped away from me. I was clutching him tightly, he still smelled like home and warmth. I could hear screaming. It was me, I was screaming. I kept screaming, commanding him to wake up, begging him not to leave he until there were people trying to take him. They were the ambulance officers and I pushed them away. I didn’t want their evil hands to touch him. I didn’t want them to steal him from me. I remember strong arms pulling me away from him as he was lifted into an ambulance. I remember thrashing, trying desperately to get to him. To my life.

I remember sitting in the hospital, my head in my hands and tears still streaming down my face when a nurse came out to tell me. He was gone. I was screaming again. It was silent this time. I was suddenly angry. I was angry at the nurse, she had to be lying. He couldn’t be gone. He wouldn’t have left me. He loved me. He wouldn’t have left. I was angry at the man with the gun. How dare he steal my baby? I was angry at the boy who I know knew lied dead in the bed across the hall. It shouldn’t have been him. He shouldn’t have fought. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was angry at myself. I let him go. I should have done more. I should have fought harder. I shouldn’t have rushed him to the club. I shouldn’t have stayed for that extra dance. I shouldn’t have let him leave.

I remember him so vividly. He was my home, the only place I ever belonged. And now he was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,  
> Okay don't hate me for writing this.
> 
> In case you for some reason haven't worked it out this is written in Phil's point of view and he is talking about Dan.
> 
> If you really hate me for the ending, you can imagine that the nurse really did make a mistake and Dan is in a coma and wakes up of something.
> 
> Anyway, how are you guys? Are you okay? I hope so. 
> 
> If you for some reason actually did like the fic (sadist) then please leave a kudos and tell me what else I should write.
> 
> Good-bye. <3


End file.
